"Blog"trospective 3: Movies

Here is a list of every movie that has ever been "blogged" about by name on the "blog." Though a promo for the movie SCAVENGER HUNT, for example, has been "linked" to, it has not been mentioned by name and will not be included in the "blog"trospective. Okay, now it will, because I just mentioned it. But you get the picture. Though some "fave" movies may have been mentioned on the "blog" many times, there will be just one "link" to each movie. If you're not too tired you may trace any movie back to its original source on the "blog," much like a modern day John Speke. 4 FOR TEXAS---5 DOLLS FOR AN AUGUST MOON---THE 7th VICTIM---THE 7th VOYAGE OF SINBAD---8 1/2---9---9 TO 5---42nd STREET---50 SHADES OF GREY---92 IN THE SHADE---101 DALMATIANS---2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY---ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE KEYSTONE KOPS---THE ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSOR---ACE IN THE HOLE---ADA---ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES---ADVANCE TO THE REAR---THE ADVENTURES OF ICHABOD AND MR. TOAD---THE AFRICAN QUEEN---AFTER HOURS---AGORA---AGUIRRE, THE WRATH OF GOD---ALASKA---ALIAS JESSE JAMES---ALIENS---ALL FALL DOWN---ALL THAT HEAVEN ALLOWS---AMARCORD---THE AMBUSHERS---AMELIE---AMERICAN GRAFFITI---AMERICAN KICKBOXER 1---AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON---ANGEL FACE---ANGEL HEART---ANGELS OVER BROADWAY---ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES---ANIMAL CRACKERS---ANIMAL HOUSE---ANNIE HALL---ANOTHER STAKEOUT---ANTICIPATION (sic)---THE APARTMENT---APOCALYPSE NOW---APOCALYPTO---APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH---APRIL FOOL'S DAY---ARIZONA DREAM---ARTISTS AND MODELS---ATM---THE ATOMIC SUBMARINE---ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS---ATTACK THE BLOCK---AUDREY ROSE---AUTHOR! AUTHOR!---AUTO FOCUS---AVANTI!---BABY DOLL---BABY MAMA---BACHELOR FLAT---BACHELOR IN PARADISE---THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL---BAD BLONDE---BAD NEWS BEARS---BADLANDS---BALADA TRISTE DE TROMPETA---THE BALLAD OF CABLE HOGUE---BARRY LYNDON---BARTON FINK---BASIC INSTINCT---BATMAN RETURNS---BATMAN V SUPERMAN---BEACH BLANKET BINGO---BEACH PARTY---BEACHES---BEAT GIRL---BEDLAM---BEDTIME FOR BONZO---THE BELIEVERS---THE BELLBOY---BENJAMIN SMOKE---THE BERMUDA DEPTHS---BEST FRIENDS---BEST IN SHOW---THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES---BETWEEN TWO WORLDS---THE BIG BANG---THE BIG BUS---THE BIG COMBO------THE BIG CUBE---THE BIG LEBOWSKI---THE BIG MOUTH---BIG NIGHT---THE BIG SLEEP---THE BIGAMIST---BILL CUNNINGHAM NEW YORK---BILLY JACK---BILLY JACK GOES TO WASHINGTON---BILLY LIAR---BILLY MADISON---BILLY WHISKERS---BIRDMAN---THE BIRDS---BIRDS DO IT---THE BISCUIT EATER---BLACK ANGEL---BLACK CHRISTMAS---BLACK SABBATH---BLACKBOARD JUNGLE---BLAST OF SILENCE---BLAZING SADDLES---BLESSED EVENT---BLOCKHEADS---BLOOD AND ROSES---BLOOD SIMPLE---BLOW-OUT---BLOW-UP---BLUE COLLAR---BLUEBEARD (2009)---THE BLUES BROTHERS---BLUES BROTHERS 2000---THE BOATNIKS---BODY DOUBLE---BOEING, BOEING---BONJOUR TRISTESSE---BONNIE & CLYDE---BOTTLE ROCKET---BOY, DID I GET A WRONG NUMBER---BOYS' NIGHT OUT---BRANNIGAN---BRAZIL---BREATHLESS---BREEZY---BRICK---THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI---BRIDGE TO THE SUN---BRIGHT LEAF---BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA---BROADCAST NEWS---BROADWAY DANNY ROSE---BROADWAY MELODY OF 1938---THE BROOD---BUFFALO '66---BUFFALO BILL & THE INDIANS---BUGSY MALONE---BUNDLE OF JOY---BUONA SERA, MRS. CAMPBELL---BURN, WITCH, BURN---BUTLEY---BYE BYE BIRDIE---THE CABIN IN THE WOODS---THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI---CACTUS FLOWER---CADDYSHACK---CAFE METROPOLE---CALIFORNIA SPLIT---CALIFORNIA SUITE---CALL ME BWANA---CANCEL MY RESERVATION---CANDYMAN: FAREWELL TO THE FLESH---CANNIBAL GIRLS---CANNONBALL RUN---CAPRICORN ONE---CAR WASH---CAREER---CARNIVAL OF SOULS---CARNY---CASABLANCA---CASANOVA---CASANOVA'S BIG NIGHT---CASINO---CASINO ROYALE (1967)---CASINO ROYALE (2006)---THE CAT AND THE CANARY---CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF---CAT PEOPLE---CATCH-22---THE CHAMP---CHANGE OF HABIT---UN CHIEN ANDALOU---CHILDREN OF PARADISE---CHIMES AT MIDNIGHT (see FALSTAFF)---CHINESE OPIUM DEN---LA CHINOISE---CHRISTMAS IN JULY---A CHRISTMAS STORY---THE CINCINNATI KID---CINDERFELLA---THE CIRCUS---CITIZEN KANE---CITIZEN TANIA---CITY FOR CONQUEST---CITY STREETS (1931)---CLAIRE'S KNEE---CLIFFHANGER---THE CLOCK---A CLOCKWORK ORANGE---CLOSE ENOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND---THE CLOWN---CLUNY BROWN---COCAINE: ONE MAN'S SEDUCTION---THE COCK FIGHT---COCK FIGHT, NO. 2---COCKTAIL HOUR---COLD TURKEY---COLLISION COURSE---COME EARLY MORNING---THE COMIC---COMPANY MAN (2000)---THE COMPANY OF WOLVES---CONDORMAN---CONEHEADS---CONFIDENTIAL AGENT---CONGO---THE CONJURING---CONTAGION---CONTEMPT---CONTINENTAL DIVIDE---THE CONVERSATION---COOKIE---THE COOL ONES---COP AND A HALF---COP LAND---CORIOLANUS---THE COTTON CLUB---THE COURTSHIP OF EDDIE'S FATHER---COWBOYS AND ALIENS---CRACKING UP---CRADLE WILL ROCK---CRANK---CRASH (1996)---CRASH (2004)---THE CRAWLING HAND---CRAZY LOVE---CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE.---CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON---CRIME WAVE---CRIMSON PEAK---CRITIC'S CHOICE---THE CROSS AND THE SWITCHBLADE---THE CRUCIBLE---THE CRY OF JAZZ---CRY OF THE WEREWOLF---CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE---CURSE OF THE DEMON---CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF---CYMBELINE---DAISY KENYON---A DANDY IN ASPIC---DANGER: DIABOLIK---THE DANISH POET---DARBY'S RANGERS---DAREDEVIL---THE DARK KNIGHT---DARKER THAN AMBER---DAY FOR NIGHT---THE DAY OF THE DOLPHIN---THE DAY SANTA CLAUS CRIED---THE DEAD---DEAD END---DEAD MAN---DEAD RECKONING---DEAD RINGERS---DEEP COVER---THE DEER HUNTER---THE DELICATE DELINQUENT---DELIVERANCE---DEMENTIA 13---THE DEPARTED---DESIGN FOR LIVING---DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN---DETOUR---DEVIL DOLL---THE DEVIL-DOLL---THE DEVIL'S BRIDE---THE DEVIL'S CABARET---DIRTY DANCING---DIRTY GRANDPA---DIRTY HARRY---DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS---DISCLOSURE---THE DISORDERLY ORDERLY---DIVORCE AMERICAN STYLE---DIVORCE, ITALIAN STYLE---DJANGO---DR. EHRLICH'S MAGIC BULLET---DOCTOR FAUSTUS---DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS---DR. STRANGELOVE---DOCTOR, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING---DR. ZHIVAGO---DOCUMENTEUR---DOGVILLE---LA DOLCE VITA---DONNIE BRASCO---DON'T LOOK NOW---DON'T MAKE WAVES---DON'T RAISE THE BRIDGE, LOWER THE RIVER---DON'T WORRY WE'LL THINK OF A TITLE---DOPPELGANGER---DOUBLE INDEMNITY---DOUBLE TROUBLE---DRACULA (1931)---DRACULA (1979)---DRACULA A.D. 1972---DRACULA (Spanish language version)---DRACULA'S DAUGHTER---DREAMS---DREAMS IN THE WITCH HOUSE---THE DRESSER (TV version)---DUEL IN THE SUN---DUMB & DUMBER---DUNE---E.T.---EAST OF EDEN---ED---ED WOOD---EDDIE MACON'S RUN---THE EGG AND I---EIGHT ON THE LAM---EL DORADO---ELECTRA GLIDE IN BLUE---THE ELECTRIC HORSEMAN---THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK---END OF THE CENTURY---THE ENEMY WITHIN (see THE STRANGER WITHIN)---THE ENGLISH PATIENT---THE ENTERTAINER---EQUINOX---ERASER---THE ERRAND BOY---ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ---ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK---ESCAPE PLAN---EUROPEAN VACATION---EVAN ALMIGHTY---EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE---EVIL DEAD II---EXECUTIVE SUITE---THE EXORCIST---THE EXTRAORDINARY SEAMAN---EXTREME LIMITS---THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS---A FACE IN THE CROWD---FACE OF A FUGITIVE---THE FACTS OF LIFE---FAILURE TO LAUNCH---FALSTAFF---FALLEN ANGEL---THE FAMILY JEWELS---FAMILY PLOT---FANCY CLUB SWINGER---FANCY PANTS---FANNY AND ALEXANDER---FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD---FARM!---FAT CITY---FATA MORGANA---FATAL ATTRACTION---THE FATAL GLASS OF BEER---FEDS---FILM---FIREWORKS WEDNESDAY---A FISH CALLED WANDA---FITZWILLY---FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS---UN FLIC---THE FLINTSTONES---FLUFFY---FOOL FOR LOVE---FOOTLIGHT PARADE---FOR LOVE OR MONEY---FOR THE BOYS---FOR THOSE WHO THINK YOUNG---FORBIDDEN PLANET---THE FORBIDDEN ROOM---THE FORBIDDEN ZONE---FOUL PLAY---FOUR ROOMS---FRANKENSTEIN---FRANKENSTEIN (2025)---FRANKENSTEIN CREATED WOMAN---FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLFMAN---FRED OTT HOLDS A BIRD---THE FRENCH CONNECTION---FRENCH CONNECTION II---FRIGHT NIGHT (1985)---FRIGHT NIGHT PART 2---FROM BEYOND---FROM THE HIP---FROZEN (2010)---FULL METAL JACKET---FUN IN ACAPULCO---FUN WITH DICK AND JANE (1977)---THE FUNHOUSE---FUNNY BONES---FUNNY FARM---FUNNY PEOPLE---G.I. BLUES---GABLE AND LOMBARD---GANGS OF NEW YORK---GARGOYLES---THE GENERAL---GENTLEMAN JIM---THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN---GHOST RIDER---GHOST STORY---THE GHOST STORY OF YOTSUYA---GHOSTBUSTERS---GIANT---GIDGET---GIDGET GOES HAWAIIAN---GIGOT---THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT---THE GIRL FROM TRIESTE---GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS---GIRLFRIENDS---A GLOBAL AFFAIR---THE GODFATHER---THE GODFATHER PART II---THE GODFATHER PART III---GOING HIGHBROW---GOLD DIGGERS OF 1933---GOLDFINGER---THE GOOD HUMOR MAN---GOOD OLD CORN---THE GOOD SHEPHERD---THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY---GOOD WILL HUNTING---GOODFELLAS---GORKY PARK---THE GRADUATE---THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL---THE GRAPES OF WRATH---THE GREAT GATSBY---THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY---GREED---GREMLINS 2---GRIZZLY---GROUNDHOG DAY---A GUIDE FOR THE MARRIED MAN---GUMBY DHARMA---THE GUNFIGHTER---HAIL, CAESAR!---HAIRSPRAY---HAMLET (1969)---HAMLET (2009)---THE HANGOVER---HANNAH TAKES THE STAIRS---HAPPY-GO-LUCKY---HARD-BOILED---A HARD DAY'S NIGHT---HARDCORE---HARDLY WORKING---HARPER VALLEY PTA---HARRY AND WALTER GO TO NEW YORK---HARRY RESER AND HIS ESKIMOS---HARVEY---THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF HORROR---THE HAUNTED STRANGLER---THE HAUNTING---HE WHO GETS SLAPPED---HEAD---HEARTBURN---HEATHERS---HEAVEN'S GATE---HELLO DOWN THERE---HELLZAPOPPIN'---HERCULES IN NEW YORK---HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD----HERE COMES THE BOOM---THE HIDEOUS SUN DEMON---THE HIGH AND THE MIGHTY---HIGH SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL---HIGH SOCIETY---HIGHBALL---HIS GIRL FRIDAY---HIS KIND OF WOMAN---THE HOBBIT---A HOLE IN THE HEAD---HOLLYWOOD OR BUST---HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS---HOME FROM THE HILL---THE HONEYMOON MACHINE---HOOK, LINE & SINKER (1969)---HOOK, LINE AND SINKER (1930)---HOOPER---HOPE AND GLORY---THE HORIZONTAL LIEUTENANT---HORROR OF DRACULA---HORRORWEEN---HORSE EATING HAY---HOSTEL PART II---HOT FUZZ---THE HOT ROCK---THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES---HOUSE (1977)---HOUSE OF THE SEVEN CORPSES---HOUSE OF USHER---HOW SWEET IT IS!---HOW TO COMMIT MARRIAGE---HOW TO SAVE A MARRIAGE AND RUIN YOUR LIFE---HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING---HUD---THE HUDSUCKER PROXY---HUMPDAY---HUSTLE---THE HUSTLER---I AM CUBA---I AM THE PRETTY THING THAT LIVES IN THE HOUSE---I COME IN PEACE---I COULD GO ON SINGING---I, FRANKENSTEIN---I LOVE YOU, ALICE B. TOKLAS!---I.Q.---I SAW WHAT YOU DID---I SHOT JESSE JAMES---I WAKE UP SCREAMING---I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE A MAN---THE ICE HARVEST---THE ICE STORM---ICEMAN---THE ICEMAN COMETH---IF A MAN ANSWERS---I'LL TAKE SWEDEN---THE ILLUSIONIST---INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS---THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN---INCUBUS---INGLUOURIOUS BASTERDS---INHERIT THE WIND---INLAND EMPIRE---INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3---INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978)---INVASION USA---THE IRON PETTICOAT---ISLAND IN THE SKY---THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU (1977)---THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU (1996)---ISLAND OF LOST SOULS---IT STARTED IN NAPLES---IT'S A GIFT---IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD---IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE---JACK THE GIANT KILLER---JACKNIFE---JANE EYRE---JANE EYRE (later version)---THE JAZZ SINGER---JEFFERSON IN PARIS---JEREMIAH JOHNSON---THE JERK---JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO---JOHNNY COOL---JOHNNY EAGER---THE JOKER IS WILD---JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS---JULES ET JIM---JULIEN DONKEY-BOY---JULIUS CAESAR---JUMPING JACKS---JUNEBUG---JUNGLE JIM IN THE FORBIDDEN LAND---JURASSIC PARK---JUROR #2---JURY DUTY---JUST LIKE HEAVEN---KALIDOR (see RED SONJA)---KARATE KID---KARATE KID PART III---KEEPING THE FAITH---KEYSTONE HOTEL---THE KID---KILL, BABY... KILL!---KILLDOZER---THE KILLERS---THE KING OF COMEDY---KING RALPH---THE KING'S SPEECH---KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS---THE KISS---KISS ME DEADLY---KISS ME, STUPID---KISSIN' COUSINS---KITTEN WITH A WHIP---KUNG FU PANDA---THE LADIES MAN---LADY FROM SHANGHAI---THE LADY FROM SOCKHOLM---LADY IN THE LAKE---LADYHAWKE---LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM---LAND OF THE LOST---THE LANGOLIERS---LARRY CROWNE---THE LAST DRAGON---THE LAST MARRIED COUPLE IN AMERICA---THE LAST SUNSET---THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST---LAURA---LEMORA: A CHILD'S TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL---LENNY---THE LEOPARD---LEPRECHAUN---LET IT RIDE (1989)---THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JUDGE ROY BEAN---LIFE OF BRIAN---LIFE OF PI---LI'L ABNER (1959)---LIMELIGHT---THE LIMEY---A LION IS IN THE STREETS---LISZTOMANIA---THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE---THE LITTLE PRINCE---LITTLE WOMEN (1994)---LIVE A LITTLE, LOVE A LITTLE---LIVING IT UP---LOGAN'S RUN---LONE STAR---THE LONG GOODBYE---LONG WEEKEND (1978)---LOOK IN ANY WINDOW---LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING---LORD LOVE A DUCK---THE LORDS OF FLATBUSH---LOST IN AMERICA---LOVE & DEATH---LOVE AT FIRST BITE---THE LOVE-INS---LOVE LETTERS---LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME---THE LOVE PARADE---LOVER COME BACK---LOVIN' THE LADIES---M---MA AND PA KETTLE AT WAIKIKI---MA AND PA KETTLE GO TO TOWN---MACABRE---MACBETH---MADADAYO---MADE IN PARIS---MAIDSTONE---LA MAIN DU DIABLE---THE MAJOR AND THE MINOR---MALONE---THE MALTESE BIPPY---THE MALTESE FALCON---MAN BAIT---THE MAN IN THE GRAY FLANNEL SUIT---MAN IN THE MOON---THE MAN WHO LAUGHS---THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE---THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARM---THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN---THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE---MANHANDLED---MANHUNTER---THE MANITOU---MARDI GRAS---MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS---MARRIED TO IT---MARRY ME AT CHRISTMAS---MARTHA BEHIND BARS---MARY POPPINS---MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN---MASCULIN-FEMININ---THE MASK OF DIMITRIOS---THE MATRIX---MCCABE & MRS. MILLER---MCCLINTOCK!---MCQ---MEAN STREETS---MEATBALLS---MEATBALLS 4---MEET ME IN LAS VEGAS---MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID---THE MENU---MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. LAWRENCE---THE MERRY WIDOW (1925)---THE MERRY WIDOW (1934)---MIDNIGHT COWBOY---A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM (1935)---A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM (1968)---MILDRED PIERCE---MILLER'S CROSSING---THE MILLION DOLLAR DUCK---MILLION DOLLAR LEGS---MIMIC---MIRACLE ON 34th STREET---MIRAGE---MISSION TO MARS---THE MISSOURI BREAKS---MR. JEALOUSY---MR. MAGOO---MR. MAGOO IN PARIS---MR. MOM---MR. RICCO---MR. SATURDAY NIGHT---MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON---MR. SUPERINVISIBLE---MRS. SOFFEL---MIXED NUTS---MOBY DICK---MON ONCLE---MONEY FROM HOME---THE MONEY JUNGLE---THE MONEY PIT---MONKEY SHINES---THE MONKEY'S UNCLE---MONSIEUR BEAUCAIRE---MOONRAKER---MOONRISE KINGDOM---THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME---MULHOLLAND DR.---THE MUMMY'S SHROUD---MUSCLE BEACH PARTY---MY BODYGUARD---MY DINNER WITH ANDRE---MY FAVORITE BRUNETTE---MY NAME IS IVAN---MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO---THE NAKED CITY---THE NAKED FACE---THE NAKED SPUR---NAPOLEON DYNAMITE---NASHVILLE---NATURAL BORN KILLERS---THE NET---NEVER A DULL MOMENT---THE NEW KIDS---NEW YORK, NEW YORK---NIGHT AND THE CITY---NIGHT MONSTER---NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS---NIGHT OF THE HUNTER---NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD---NIGHT OF THE LOUP GAROU---THE NIGHT STALKER---THE NIGHT STRANGLER---THE NIGHT WE NEVER MET---NIGHTMARE ALLEY---NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET PART FIVE---NINOTCHKA---NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN---NOBODY LIVES FOREVER---NONE BUT THE LONELY HEART---NORTH BY NORTHWEST---NORTHANGER ABBEY---NOSFERATU---NOT OF THIS EARTH (1958)---NOT OF THIS EARTH (1988)---NOTHING SACRED---LA NOTTE---THE NUTTY PROFESSOR---O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU---OBSESSION---THE ODD COUPLE---OF MICE AND MEN---OFF LIMITS (1953)---OKLAHOMA---THE OMEGA MAN---ON DANGEROUS GROUND---ON THE ROAD---ON THE TOWN---ONCE BITTEN---ONCE MORE WITH FEELING---ONCE UPON A COFFEE HOUSE---ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST---ONE FROM THE HEART---ONE HOUR WITH YOU---ONE MORE TIME---ONLY ANGELS HAVE WINGS---THE OTHER---OUT OF THE PAST---THE OUTSIDERS---THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT---THE PALM BEACH STORY---PAPERMAN---THE PARALLAX VIEW---PARDNERS---THE PARENT TRAP---PARIS HOLIDAY---PARIS, TEXAS---PARTY GIRL (1958)---PARTY GIRL (1995)---THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST---PAT GARRETT AND BILLY THE KID---PATERNITY---THE PATSY---PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE---PENELOPE---PERIOD OF ADJUSTMENT---PERSONA---PETULIA---PHANTASM---PHFFFT---PHYSICAL EVIDENCE---PICKUP ON SOUTH STREET---PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK---PIERROT LE FOU---PILLOW TALK---THE PILOT---PINATA: SURVIVAL ISLAND---PINK FLAMINGOS---THE PINK PANTHER---PINOCCHIO---THE PIPE---THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM---PITFALL---PLANET OF THE APES---PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES---PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM---THE PLAYER---LE PLUS VIEUX METIER DU MONDE---POINT BLANK---POINT BREAK---POLICE ACADEMY---POLYESTER---POP GEAR---POPEYE---POPI---PORTRAIT OF JENNIE---PRESCRIPTION: MURDER---PRETTY IN PINK---PRETTY WOMAN---THE PRINCESS AND THE PIRATE---THE PRODUCERS---THE PRINCESS BRIDE---PROFESSOR WELTON'S BOXING CATS---PROPHECY (1979)---PSYCHO---PSYCHO (remake)---THE PUFFY CHAIR---PULL MY DAISY---PULP FICTION---PUMP UP THE VOLUME---PUNCHLINE---QUEEN OF EARTH---THE QUILLER MEMORANDUM---QUINTET---RADICAL JACK---RAIN MAN---THE RAINMAKER---RAISING ARIZONA---RAISING CAIN---RAISING HELEN---RALLY 'ROUND THE FLAG, BOYS!---RANCHO DELUXE---RASHOMON---RAN---RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE---RAT KILLING---RAVAGERS---RAW DEAL---RE-ANIMATOR---REAR WINDOW---RED DAWN---RED DAWN (2012)---RED EYE---RED LIGHT---RED LIGHTS---RED PLANET---RED RIVER---RED SONJA---REGARDING HENRY---THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT---REMEMBER THE NIGHT---RESCUE DAWN---THE RETURN OF DRACULA---REVENGE OF THE CREATURE---RHINESTONE---RICHARD II (1997)---RICHARD III---RICHIE RICH---RICOCHET---RIDERS OF THE PURPLE SAGE---THE RIGHT STUFF---RING OF FEAR---RIO BRAVO---RIO GRANDE---RISKY BUSINESS---ROAD HOUSE---THE ROAD TO HONG KONG---THE ROAD TO SINGAPORE---THE ROAD TO UTOPIA---ROBIN HOOD (1973)---ROCK-A-BYE BABY---ROCKY II---ROGUE COP---ROLLERCOASTER---ROMEO AND JULIET---THE ROOKIE---THE ROOM---ROUNDERS---RUMOR HAS IT---RUNAWAY BRIDE---THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING! THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!---SABOTEUR---SAILOR BEWARE---SALT AND PEPPER---SAMSON AND DELILAH---SANDY WEXLER---SANTA CLAUS (1959)---SANTA WITH MUSCLES---THE SATAN BUG---SATISFACTION---SATURDAY THE 14th---SATURN 3---SATYRICON---SAVING PRIVATE RYAN---SAWDUST AND TINSEL---SAY ANYTHING---SCARED STIFF---THE SCARLET LETTER---SCAVENGER HUNT---SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE---SCHOOL TIES---SCOOBY-DOO---SCREAM OF FEAR---SCREAMERS---THE SEA HAWK---THE SEARCHERS---SECOND FIDDLE TO A STEEL GUITAR---SECONDS---SEMI-TOUGH---SEND ME NO FLOWERS---SENIOR PROM---THE SENTINEL---SERENDIPITY---A SERIOUS MAN---THE SET-UP---THE SEVEN LITTLE FOYS---SEVEN SAMURAI---SEVEN SINNERS---SEX AND THE SINGLE GIRL---SHAFT---SHAKE HANDS WITH DANGER---SHAMUS---SHANE---THE SHANGHAI GESTURE---THE SHEPHERD OF THE HILLS---SHE'S ALL THAT---THE SHINING---THE SHINING HOUR---SHIP OF MONSTERS---SHORT CUTS---SICARIO---THE SILENCE---THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS---SILVER LODE---SIMON OF THE DESERT---SINGIN' IN THE RAIN---SISTER ACT---SISTERS---SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS 2---SKIDOO---SKYJACKED---SLAP SHOT---SLAPSTICK (OF ANOTHER KIND)---SLEEPING BEAUTY---SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY---SLIGHTLY SCARLET---THE SMALL MAGNETIC HAND---SMALL TOWN GIRL---SMOKES & EARS---SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT---SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT II---THE SNEEZE---SNOW WHITE AND THE THREE STOOGES---SNOWBOARD ACADEMY---SNOWPIERCER---SO LONG AT THE FAIR---THE SOCIAL NETWORK---SOIGNE TA DROITE---SOME KIND OF A NUT---SOMEONE I TOUCHED---SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES---SOMETHING WILD---SON OF DRACULA---THE SOUND AND THE FURY---THE SOUND OF MUSIC---SPELLBOUND---THE SPIDER---SPLENDOR IN THE GRASS---THE SPY WHO LOVED ME---STALAG 17---A STAR IS BORN (1937)---A STAR IS BORN (1954)---STAR TREK (2009)---STAR WARS---STARDUST MEMORIES---STARFLIGHT: THE PLANE THAT COULDN'T LAND---STARGATE---STEAMBOAT ROUND THE BEND---STEEL MAGNOLIAS---STEP BROTHERS---THE STEPFATHER---STEVEN UNIVERSE: THE MOVIE---STOLEN KISSES---STONER---THE STOOGE---THE STORY OF WILL ROGERS---LA STRADA---THE STRANGER---THE STRANGER WITHIN---THE STRANGER WORE A GUN---STRANGERS ON A TRAIN---STRIKING DISTANCE----THE STUFF---THE SUNDOWNERS---SUNSET BOULEVARD---THE SUNSHINE BOYS---SUPERDAD---SUPERMAN III---SUSAN SLADE---SUSAN SLEPT HERE---SUSPECT---SWAMP THING---SWEET BIRD OF YOUTH---THE SWEET RIDE---THE SWINGER---SWITCH---TAKE HER, SHE'S MINE---THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE---TARAS BULBA---THE TARNISHED ANGELS---TAXI DRIVER---TEACHER'S PET---TEEN WITCH---TEEN WOLF---TEEN WOLF TOO---THE TEN COMMANDMENTS---TEN THOUSAND BEDROOMS---TEQUILA SUNRISE---THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE---TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE IV---THAT HAGEN GIRL---THAT THING YOU DO!---THAT'S MY BOY---THAT'S MY BOY (2012)---THEODORA: IMPERATRICE DE BYZANCE---THEREMIN: AN ELECTRONIC ODYSSEY---THERE'S A GIRL IN MY SOUP---THEY ALL LAUGHED---THEY CAME TO ROB LAS VEGAS---THEY GOT ME COVERED---THE THIEF OF BAGDAD---THIEVES' HIGHWAY---THE THIRD MAN---THIS IS MY LIFE---THIS IS SPINAL TAP---THIS IS THE END---THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR---THREE FOR BEDROOM C---THREE FUGITIVES---THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973)---THREE ON A COUCH---THREE RING CIRCUS---THREE VIOLENT PEOPLE---THE THRILL OF IT ALL---THRONE OF BLOOD---THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT---THUNDERING HOOFS---TICKLE ME---TIME AFTER TIME---TIME BANDITS---A TIME TO KILL---THE TITANIC---TO CATCH A THIEF---TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT---TO SIR WITH LOVE---TO THE DEVIL A DAUGHTER---TOAST OF NEW ORLEANS---TOKYO DRIFTER---TOMMY---TONY ROME---TOO LATE BLUES---TOO LATE FOR TEARS---TOP BANANA---TOPSY-TURVY---TORMENTED---TORPEDO RUN---TORRID ZONE---TOUCH OF EVIL---TOUGHER THAN LEATHER---TOY STORY 4---">THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH---TRAPEZE---TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE---TREES LOUNGE---TRESPASS----THE TRIAL---THE TRIAL OF BILLY JACK---TRILOGY OF TERROR---TRON---THE TROUBLE WITH ANGELS---THE TROUBLE WITH GIRLS---TRUE CONFESSION---TRUE CRIME---TRUE GRIT (1969)---TRUE GRIT (2010)---TRUE ROMANCE---TRUE STORIES---TURNER & HOOCH---TWILIGHT---TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE---TWISTER---TWISTER'S REVENGE---TWIXT---TWO-BITS & PEPPER---THE TWO FACES OF DR. JEKYLL---TWO-LANE BLACKTOP---U.F.O---UNCLE KENT---THE UNDEAD (1957)---UNDER THE VOLCANO---UNDER THE YUM YUM TREE---UNDERGROUND---UNION DEPOT---UNIVERSAL SOLDIER (1971)---UNSUCCESSFUL SOMERSAULT---UP IN THE AIR---UPPERSEVEN---THE VAMPIRE---THE VAMPIRE LOVERS---THE VERDICT---VERNON, FLORIDA---VERTIGO---A VERY SPECIAL FAVOR---THE VILLAIN---THE VIRGIN SPRING---VIRIDIANA---VISIT TO A SMALL PLANET---VIVA ZAPATA!---VOLVER---WAGNER---WAITING FOR GUFFMAN---WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER---WAKE OF THE RED WITCH---WALK, DON'T RUN---WALK HARD---WALL-E---WALL STREET---WAR AND PEACE---THE WASP WOMAN---THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS---WAY OUT WEST---WAY... WAY OUT---W.C. FIELDS AND ME---WE GO WAY BACK---A WEDDING---WEE WILLIE WINKIE---WEEKEND---WEIRD SCIENCE---WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT---WEST SIDE STORY---WHAT A WAY TO GO!---WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT---WHAT'S UP DOC---THE WHEELER DEALERS---WHEN MICHAEL CALLS---WHERE THE SPIES ARE---WHERE THE TRUTH LIES---WHICH WAY TO THE FRONT?---WHIFFS---WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING---THE WHITE DIAMOND (2004)---WHITE DIAMOND (2007)---WHITE HEAT---WHO FEARS THE DEVIL?---WHO WAS THAT LADY?---WHO'S BEEN SLEEPING IN MY BED?---WHO'S GOT THE ACTION?---WHO'S MINDING THE MINT?---WHO'S MINDING THE STORE?---THE WICKER MAN---WIFE WANTED---THE WILD AFFAIR---THE WILD BUNCH---WILD IN THE COUNTRY---THE WILD, WILD PLANET---WILL PENNY---WILLIE AND PHIL---WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY---WIND ACROSS THE EVERGLADES---WINTER LIGHT---WINTER'S TALE---THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK---WITH SIX YOU GET EGGROLL---WITNESS---THE WIZARD OF OZ---WOLF---THE WOLF OF WALL STREET---WOLFEN---THE WOLFMAN---THE WOMAN IN RED---A WOMAN IS A WOMAN---A WOMAN OF PARIS---WOMAN ON THE RUN---WOMAN TIMES SEVEN---A WOMAN UNDER THE INFLUENCE---THE WORLD OF HENRY ORIENT---THE WRECKING CREW---WRITTEN ON THE WIND---WUTHERING HEIGHTS---X: THE MAN WITH THE X-RAY EYES---X, Y & ZEE---XANADU---X-MEN: FIRST CLASS---YOUNG BESS---YOUNG MR. LINCOLN---YOUR CHEATIN' HEART---YOU'VE GOT MAIL---ZARDOZ

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Today's featured attraction.

Heed Not the Inferior Promos of Yore

Theresa and I have just enjoyed a lush - almost glowing - print of KILL, BABY... KILL! on the Anchor Bay DVD label. So I cannot overemphasize my former advice: Do not let the old, faded trailer stand between you and YOUR enjoyment of KILL, BABY... KILL! (Pictured, one of the stars of KILL, BABY... KILL!, with friends.)

Flying Nuns Everywhere You Look

It was pointed out to me today that JOHNNY TREMAIN is not the only common ground for the George Saunders essay and Alison Bechdel excerpt I mentioned the other day. They both also reference THE FLYING NUN, a sitcom starring Dr. "M.'s" bete noire, Sally Field. What are the odds? Pretty good, apparently.

May I

May I say something good about AMC? Yes, I think it is okay. First of all, AMC is no longer a rival to TCM, the greatest cable channel of all time. They have long ago given up trying to do what TCM does. No one can do it like TCM, which AMC finally figured out. So I feel no disloyalty when I point out that AMC's original series MAD MEN is hard to beat. It's beautiful to look at, with hints of Sirk - not to mention the more candy-coated surfaces of films like LOVER COME BACK (the Rock Hudson/Doris Day vehicle set, like MAD MEN, in the early sixties New York advertising world) and HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING (in a welcome nod to that film, its lead actor Robert Morse [pictured] has a recurring role in MAD MEN. He's such a strange, charming and interesting actor and it's a treat to see him working again.) Thematically, MAD MEN treads Billy Wilder territory. The very night I mentioned as much to Theresa, there was an explicit reference to THE APARTMENT on the episode, and we looked at one another knowingly, the way we like to do. There are references as well to EXECUTIVE SUITE and similar melodramas of office politics, some of the same films that the Coen Brothers were playing with in THE HUDSUCKER PROXY. In fact, when a Greenwich Village beatnik talked about going out and getting some carrot juice in MAD MEN, I couldn't help but think of the latter film. MAD MEN is not interested in jittery Jack Lemmon-like moral qualms. That's wrong. It's interested in them, but mainly in the ways they are forcefully repressed. It's as if the Kirk Douglas character from ACE IN THE HOLE was placed at the center of THE APARTMENT. I'm not explaining any of this correctly. I'm just filling in on TV duty while I await a transmission from Dr. "M." But I will say that MAD MEN has literary overtones as well. You'll think of Cheever. And it can be funny. Its keen eye and ear for the absurd tropes of advertising are reminiscent of Preston Sturges's CHRISTMAS IN JULY, starring Dick Powell (that film is another obvious antecedent of HUDSUCKER; I say "antecedent" because I've sworn off "progenitor.") In a way it's an anti-comedy, though, making explicit everything that is creepy about swinging comedies like HOW TO SAVE A MARRIAGE AND RUIN YOUR LIFE, A GUIDE FOR THE MARRIED MAN (also starring Robert Morse) and UNDER THE YUM YUM TREE. And it shares with early sixties comedies a fascination with psychiatry. The trouble here is that I'm not expressing the thing about the show that makes it UNLIKE anything else. I think you have to watch it to find out.

Back to Work

I know that many of our recent "posts" have been lacking illustrations, giving the "blog" a wan and distant air. There has been a similar dearth of the long, baffling rants that make "blogging" what it is. And perhaps I seem to rely too much on McNeil to do all the work - though it's hard to argue with results! Well, I sent off the final (?!?) version of the novel yesterday, so I just want you to know that I will be available to do what is really important: "blog." For example, did you know that I'm reading "The Bear" by William Faulkner right now? It turns out that Faulkner is good! Now how would you know that if there weren't any "blogs"?

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

I remember this.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Short but sweet.

Whorton's Periodic Kolchak Update

Whorton reveals that the original novel upon which KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER was based will be rereleased this week. In other Kolchak news, Barry B. called to say that my brother's favorite Kolchak scene is also his. Small world!

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

It's the daily feature that's making headlines. Here is today's selection.

Arts, Briefly

Welcome to our occasional feature with the stolen title. First, MGMIEET is causing a big stir in the mainstream media. It was only a matter of time! We don't entirely agree with the reporter's assessment of the funny-ha-ha/funny-peculiar dichotomy: the important thing is to look at these clips the way you would look at a plant or a rock. Or a rainbow! Finally, I've been asked to participate in another anthology, this one collecting "comic writing from Alabama." I'm going to be in there with Truman Capote, Eugene Walter, and Barry Hannah. Couldn't ask for better company. More details as they come in.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Our daily feature. A veritable grab bag. "Click" every day or miss out on the excitement.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Simply "click" to enjoy.

You're Welcome

Thanks to us, the FBIL has been moved to look up Wheeler & Woolsey on Wikipedia. "Now I'm just sad," he reports.

Three Reasons to Buy a Twelve-Pound Book

1) It's a twelve-pound book! Can you imagine all the work that went into it? You have to buy it! You owe this guy! It has 1,000 meticulously restored illustrations and 800,000 words and he published it himself and it took him 32 years to write! Did you hear me? It's a TWELVE-POUND BOOK! The prologue alone, which describes the massive effort, would be reason enough to buy it. The book is called MARIO BAVA: ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARKNESS, by Tim Lucas. 2) If you only know the film KILL, BABY... KILL! through the recent appearance of its faded and less than artful trailer in MGMIEET (as I did) you will be amazed and enlightened to read about its profound influence on both Fellini and Scorsese (in the book's introduction, Scorsese says, "We have to keep resisting the idea of official film history, a stately procession of 'important works' that leaves some of the most exciting films and filmmakers tucked away in the shadows.... The more disreputable the genre and the lower the budget, the less there is at stake and the freer you are to experiment and explore new territories." The "blog," while lacking Scorsese's authority, has contemplated such issues now and then). 3) In a move which should make make McNeil and other connoisseurs of groovy 1960s film titles very happy, there are, like, 25 four-column pages of microscopic font on DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS.

Correction

McNeil reports that there IS an ampersand in the title of the Jerry Lewis film HOOK, LINE & SINKER, which we are overjoyed to hear because we love ampersands. A movie with the same title, sans ampersand, was made about 40 years earlier and starred the comedy team of Wheeler & Woolsey, according to McNeil. Hope this clears everything up! (Pictured, Wheeler & Woolsey, because I really want to capture the youth market.)

Arts, Briefly

Ha ha! That's the name of a column in the New York Times. I've decided to steal it. First: I am happy to report that yesterday's MGMIEET has now enjoyed 25 viewings on YouTube. What is that, a 1200% increase? We modestly assert that this is the work of the "blog," like when we got Phyllis Diller on the Tonight Show that time. Finally: McNeil has been watching HOOK, LINE & SINKER. (Ampersand ours.) "I'm not sure why they released it," he says. The "blog" needs to see for itself.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Out of all the YouTube users on the planet, only two have bothered to view today's MGMIEET. Or perhaps one of them viewed it twice. Find out why!

Kolchak!

A new communique from the reclusive novelist James Whorton, Jr. (author of FRANKLAND and APPROXIMATELY HEAVEN), who reports that he has been renting episodes of KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER. That old TV show also happens to be a sentimental favorite of both my brother and my wife. The last time I was in California, my brother had Tivoed (that is a verb, right?) every episode, and showed me his favorite scene, in which Kolchak has to shoot a monster - disguised as a gentle, doddering old lady - with a crossbow. As for Theresa, she made sure that the complete series on DVD was one of the essential items we brought with us to Oxford. Nor am I immune to the show's charms. I particularly admire Darrin McGavin's willfully eccentric lead performance, and retain a vivid childhood memory of the episode when a motorcycle-riding ghost was cutting off people's heads. As a fan of coincidence I am compelled to mention that McGavin came up in the class I taught today - specifically, the leg-lamp his character won in the film A CHRISTMAS STORY. "I feel as though I have been reunited with a long-lost family member," Whorton writes of Kolchak. He goes on: "McNeil and other people who watch UNDER THE YUM YUM TREE every day might like to be reminded that Carol Lynley played Kolchak's girlfriend Gail in the original made for tv movie. She tries to convince Kolchak that the killer is a vampire. Then she irons his shirt and he says, 'You iron a pretty good shirt there, Gail.'"

Mr. Ward Steps In

Silence on the MGMIEET front today. Fortuitously, though, old "Blog" Buddy Mr. Ward sent an email that will do nicely as a stopgap. Mr. Ward's email was titled "Don't revisit your childhood..." and the body of it read, "I used to love this show. What was wrong with me?" There was appended this "link" featuring old "blog" "fave" Bob Denver.

McNeil's Movie Korner: The Marshall Plan

With all the hubbub over McNeil's curatorship of McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre, it is all too easy to forget his pioneering efforts in McNeil's Movie Korner. We correct that inequity today, with a brand new installment of the cherished feature, beginning with a confession/explanation. We are sure you have noticed that we never mention TCM anymore, that greatest of all cable channels and giver of sustenance and light, and formerly one of the primary objects of "blog"cern. The truth is, WE DO NOT RECEIVE TCM ON THE "CABLE" SYSTEM in our new digs! We are not complaining. Everything here is generously provided for us free of charge - more amenities than we could have ever dreamed - and it is quite nicest experience we have ever had. But going "cold turkey" on TCM was an adjustment! Thanks to McNeil, however, I hear a good deal about the programming nearly every day. McNeil is descriptive! (You recall my earlier plan for an oral history of McNeil's "internet" use; the "living 'blog'" idea, I believe, was also inspired by McNeil.) Yesterday's TCM update, delivered by McNeil via telephone, went like this: "Do you know who George Marshall is?" I replied that he was a director. "Yeah," said McNeil. "He directed HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER and ADVANCE TO THE REAR! I think Jerry hired him to direct HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER because George Marshall was seventy-something at the time and Jerry could push him around." (McNeil said this with admiration.) "Who was in ADVANCE TO THE REAR again?" I asked McNeil. "Stella Stevens, baby! I think George Marshall should be our new hero." I said okay. "Let's make him our hero," McNeil reiterated. I confirmed my commitment. "Let's put together the George Marshall Box Set," said McNeil. I said I'd get right on it. "Look him up on the 'internet' and 'link' to something," McNeil said. I said okay.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Here.

Tremain on the Brain

References to the celebrated children's classic JOHNNY TREMAIN (which I never got around to reading, and at this point I guess that ship has sailed) have been popping up around here. There's an essay in THE BRAINDEAD MEGAPHONE about its tremendous effect on the young George Saunders. And just yesterday I came across a tender, sorrowful panel by Alison Bechdel, anthologized in THE BEST AMERICAN COMICS 2007, involving a reading of JOHNNY TREMAIN. Now the Saunders essay, taken with his Vonnegut and Barthelme essays in the same book, will give you a master class in writing, if you care to take the time, for the price of a paperback book! Or you can borrow it from the library if necessary. There's a little gem on comma placement in the TREMAIN essay that encapsulates what makes a good sentence. The part of the Vonnegut essay where the author's younger self comes to realize WHY Vonnegut uses aliens and other supposedly lowbrow tropes in his fiction is a fine lesson in how to really dig in to what matters as a writer. And his analysis of Barthelme's "The School" shows you what it FEELS like to write a good story and is full of practical advice such as "ENDING IS STOPPING WITHOUT SUCKING." About the Bechdel - what a powerful excerpt. It makes you want to run out and get the entire graphic novel, FUN HOME, from which it is taken. That's the pernicious thing about books! Watch out! Books want to make you read other books. One book is always conspiratorially suggesting another. And if you go down that path, how will you ever get any "blogging" done?

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

McNeil has been digging. This one comes with a label that says "Limited Time Only," so I guess you'd better hurry.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Hard to watch, says McNeil.

Koan

Just going through my new copy of THE BEST AMERICAN COMICS 2007, edited by Chris Ware, purchased from the good people at Square Books. That's Square Books, for all your bookish needs. Anyway, I came across a caption that I quite enjoyed. It occurs in a piece by Aline and R. Crumb. I will quote it now: "A POIGNANT MOMENT FILLED WITH INTENSE EMOTION AND FREE PICKLES!" (Exclamation point theirs.) Why do I like that caption so much? Who knows? But I think I love it, even out of context. Especially out of context! "A POIGNANT MOMENT FILLED WITH INTENSE EMOTION AND FREE PICKLES!" Think about it and get back to me.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Ah! Here you go.

Today In Donald Barthelme News

I want everyone to go out and get McSweeney's print issue #24. You can learn a lot about "blog" hero Donald Barthelme! I think it will encourage you to purchase or borrow some of his books. In McSweeney's #24, there are reflective pieces on Barthelme from George Saunders (actually, it's the same essay that we have mentioned at an earlier date), Grace Paley, the wonderful writer Padgett Powell, and many others. Plus there are two early, uncollected Barthelme stories that we can't bring ourselves to read yet because we want to save them! Meanwhile, you turn the issue over and there's a whole other issue attached (you know how they're always doing fancy things). It's chock full of fiction I haven't even dug into yet, though I noticed that the story by Jonathan Ames is about a guy (Jonathan Ames) pretending to be a detective. I was hoping to make such a conceit into my next novel, whenever I get around to fixing the one that is due on Monday! And you know how nervous I am about "used" ideas. But what the heck. My own McSweeney's print story, back in issue 20, was about a guy pretending to be a detective. I can't seem to write about anything else, so I'm not going to worry about it. McNeil has written a good short story on the same theme, called "The Hotel Sissy." It's out at a couple of places right now, awaiting acceptance. I'll let you know when someone snaps it up. I wonder if we've stumbled on a new genre! In his story, Ames's fictional surrogate talks about the fact that he doesn't know how detectives get their licenses, so he just pretends to be one. This is the very same reason (unwillingness to do even the smallest bit of research) that I enjoy writing about pretend detectives rather than real ones. I wish I could write a good, straight, funny, terrifying, accurate, tight, exciting, explosive, non-ironic, emotionally true crime novel like Laura Lippman! But I don't have the discipline. OR all the many other talents and qualities it takes aside from discipline. Speaking of McNeil, I really need to "write" today, but if McNeil comes through with a new episode of MGMIEET I will certainly "post" it. Otherwise, it's time to get to work and this is all you'll hear from me today! Okay!

"Blog" Gets Even Classier

One of the "blog" sisters-in-law (the one married to the PBIL, or present brother-in-law, as opposed to the FBIL) was moved by our recent entry on a man called Brent Butt. It turns out that she sees a physician by the name of Dr. Butt.

This Is It

Well, we have been providing, by my calculations, an average of 2.8 "posts" per day for an entire year. And not all of them have been short like this or this or this. Some of them have been quite long, like this or this. Sometimes we had to apologize, they were so long. Many times they were chock full of wisdom and insight. Or tips on how to play Candyland. Some days we did no "posts." One day we did thirteen. And now if you will excuse us, we are going to check into a monastery and renounce the world forever.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Today's attraction.

True Story!

Phil Oppenheim has a Corner Gas t-shirt! He picked it up at the CBC gift shop. Will wonders never cease? No, apparently they will not.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Here's what we've been waiting for: Today's episode of MGMIEET. This one's epic! Check it out. I just can't start working on the novel every day until I know I have given you people something exciting to watch courtesy of McNeil.

Final Nail

So Theresa and I were "flipping around" on the "television" around midnight when we came across the credits of a sitcom we had never seen or heard of. I was as amazed as you are that there is a sitcom I have never seen. The cast members' names flew by and I did a double take. "Was that guy's name Brent Butt?" I said. "Yes," Theresa responded drily. "Wow!" I said. "A man named Brent Butt." (I would like to state at this point that this is the final nail in the coffin of "blog" respectability... or "blog"spectability, as it is called in certain "blircles.") Then the title appeared: CORNER GAS created by Brent Butt. That made me laugh, unlike the few minutes of the sitcom we watched thereafter. Perhaps we didn't give it enough of a chance! The plot involved an old man finding a pair of pants on the side of the road, I believe. The show looked homemade, which was interesting yet also troubling. Well, as I said, I didn't give it a real chance. But come on! CORNER GAS created by Brent Butt! Think about it! And yes, I know I'm supposed to be working on my novel. (Pictured, Brent Butt.)

Mutual "Blog"preciation Society

Phil Oppenheim reports that he watched and enjoyed the Carlos Jacott film HIGHBALL, thanks to the "blog's" placement of it in the McNeil's Movie Korner Film Festival. By coincidence, McNeil called yesterday to say that Phil ought to have a "blog" feature in which he recommends "old-timey books" (McNeil's memorable phrase), McNeil having enjoyed his Stephen Leacock recommendation so much. See? McNeil and Phil have never met, yet their cultural tastes have been cross-pollinated thanks to the "blog"! This is what "blogging" is all about, people. But I do believe it's safe to say that with our pal Anonymous's mention of Kevin Sorbo, we are no longer in danger of being considered a "litblog." That was a close one!

Redacted Sorbo

This "post" has been censored at the request of the original guest "blogger," for reasons too complicated to explain. "If you liked *** ***** ******** ** ******* **** (as I did), do NOT be tempted to **** ******* **** ***: *** ********. It's ******* ******** ****, and you certainly don't need me to confirm that Kevin Sorbo ** ** ****." Thanks for the heads up, Anonymous!

The Mekons Say

The Mekons say they will be playing here at 10PM CST, live on your computer. TONIGHT!

Yore

We'd like to thank McNeil for his efforts to help keep the "blog" going. I hope you're availing yourself of his daily contributions, which are only a "click" away. I know things have been slow and slight on my end. I'm trying to smooth out a big snag in the middle of my novel. In the meantime, explore the world of McNeil, or take a look at some of these forgotten "links" of yore.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Advisory: May contain impalement.

Makes You Think

We're getting very, very close to the one-year anniversary of the "blog." It really makes you think... about what a horrible waste of time it has been.

What They Were

Pileated woodpeckers!

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Please enjoy today's feature with a simple "click" of your "mouse." Don't miss a single episode of McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre! Come back soon!

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

Today's featured attraction.

What It Is

What IS McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre? To put it simply, McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre is a daily feature of the "blog," in fact the "blog's" only genuine daily feature, which means there's a new installment EVERY DAY. Here's how McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre works. Jeff McNeil spends a number of hours looking up stuff on YouTube. Then he sends me something he found. After that, I "post" it here for your convenience. It's just one of the many ways in which McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre is working for you. For more information on the early days of McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre, "click" here. Thank you.

McNeil's Gold Medal International Emergency Exit Theatre

"Click" here for today's feature.

Pickle Rescue Team

The folks are on their way up for a visit, bearing a load of our "fave" pickles. Speaking of people giving us food, John T. Edge brought over a package of Conecuh County Sausage, another good thing that comes - like the pickles - from Alabama. He knows how much we like our Conecuh County Sausage with breakfast OR in a pot of lima beans (it's pretty great with any meal at any time of day) and he found a place near here that carries it. People are nice! We surprised him with a bag of good old Aurora coffee from HIS former dwelling place (and ours) Atlanta. Pickles! Sausage! Coffee!

Phil's Radio Korner

We proudly unveil the newest of all our brand new features: Phil's Radio Korner. This is where Phil Oppenheim tells you about good things he has heard on the radio. Now we turn it over to Phil: "You ever listen to Bob Dylan’s “Theme Time Radio Hour” (on XM, but easily found online, too)? I was listening to an old episode (“Food”) when Bob played a song that I hadn’t heard before, but loved instantly. You know Mingus’s 'Eat That Chicken' from the album 'Oh Yeah'? It sounds like a signal beamed in from the craziest, drunkest, Dixieland band, playing for winos and conspirators in some dark abandoned bar (Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop, maybe?)." Thanks for the recommendation, Phil! This has been Phil's Radio Korner.

McNeil Presents

Still not a good title for our brand new feature. Today McNeil presents a tribute to the recently passed Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly.

McNeil's Tube

Welcome once again to our newest daily feature. Don't worry, I'm going to think of a better title tomorrow. One that won't make you sick! For now, as promised, I will "link" to the inscrutable beauty of McNeil's daily YouTube clip without editorializing: "Click" here. I will, however, "post" an aside about a former clip. Last night I went to hear Singleton read... a treat as always. Anyway, while I was standing in line to get my book signed, another guy remarked to me, "You never know who you're going to see in Oxford. It's like on the old Dean Martin show when Dean would open the door and you always wondered who would be standing there." I was amazed! I told him that I had just "posted" such an incident on my "blog" the other day. "No way!" he cried. Either he was pulling my leg (in which case he was quite a good leg puller) or once again (as I prefer to believe) the "blog" exerts its mystical powers on the physical universe. Yes, that's probably it.

The Other Good Thing

Oh, and the other good thing we did in 1,000 "posts," aside from "Pistachios," is find a nice "link" to a Sonny Rollins performance.

1,000th "Post" Proves Big, Ugly Letdown For Everyone

It is with a heavy heart that I admit "McNeil Out Sick" - a hastily written apology for our insufficient supply of pointless crud; that's right! We felt we weren't giving you enough crud fast enough, and we were SORRY ABOUT IT! - is the "blog's" 1,000th "post." It makes the regrettable 900th "post" read like Ovid. But look, piling up 1,000 "posts" has taken a lot out of everyone. I suppose I will go ahead with the long planned highlight of this occasion, and unveil the single greatest of our 1,000 "posts," as determined by a poll of experts from the National Academy of Arts and Sciences. It was "Pistachios." Now. No more celebrations until 1,500.

McNeil Out Sick

McNeil is taking a nap. So already, on our second day of our new daily feature, it's a bust. To assuage your disappointment, we present this old YouTube classic uncovered by Theresa. Since the original "posting" we have discovered that Mel Brooks cowrote the movie it came from... which clears things up considerably. But still.

Dear Bird Correspondent

Dear Bird Correspondent, Theresa and I just returned from a walk, during which we witnessed three large redheaded woodpeckers having either a party or a fight. The noises they made were alarming! There was definitely something going down in birdland. They went, WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO or WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH - a tropical, monkeyish sound. It strikes me that perhaps this kind of sound is the basis for the famed Woody Woodpecker laugh. Or are you going to tell us that Theresa and I are crazy, and woodpeckers only make that pecking sound? That's the kind of thing you usually tell us! Something counterintuitive and depressingly true! Hey, bird correspondent, I think you would get a kick out of this Chris Bachelder essay on woodpeckers (or IS IT about woodpeckers? That's part of the mystery of the article). Any other thoughts on woodpeckers or personal woodpecker stories you have would be appreciated.

A New Public Service

I think we can all acknowledge how good McNeil is at finding pointless YouTube "clips." So from now on we're going to present a new one each and every day. What McNeil enjoys about today's "clip" is the "kittenish way" (McNeil's memorable phrasing) that Dean Martin curls up on the couch... and Martin's utter and apparent indifference to everything - especially the fact that he is on television. He is also happy that nothing Robert Mitchum says in the "clip" is intelligible and - palpably - no one cares. McNeil wishes that there were TV shows nowadays that displayed the same open and appropriate lack of effort. In the future, we believe we will let McNeil's "clips" speak for themselves, with no leading annotation.

Meet Quaquaversal

Hey, that offhand remark about "sheesh," a fairly common expression, reminded me that I should tell you about my new friend "quaquaversal." You'll find that word several times in George Singleton's WORK SHIRTS FOR MADMEN. One of the great comic conceits of the novel is the way the word seems to jump from character to character like a virus. Anyway, we like to tell you when we find new words, even if John Cheever just made them up and tricked us. Oh yes, the recurrence of sheesh reminded me of something else: the last two movies that Theresa and I watched (before MCCABE & MRS. MILLER) were CITY FOR CONQUEST starring Jimmy Cagney and THEY GOT ME COVERED starring Bob Hope. Well, in the former, a minor character uses the phrase "strictly from hunger." In the latter, Hope walks into a Hungarian restaurant and says, "strictly from Hungary." So, it was a well known phrase, common enough for Hope to play around with. I've heard that phrase in a lot of old movies and the meaning seems pretty clear, I think (it seems to refer to something you do because you need the money, not because you're moved with inspiration). I feel as if I've seen it prominently featured (maybe in the title?) in an essay by S.J. Perelman or Woody Allen or somebody. Well, anyway, that's a funny old phrase that's been popping up around the house lately, in case you care. I hope you don't! P.S. I had up a nice picture of Brett Somers, but "The Man" decided it belonged to him and took it away! Hey, I just thought of another connection: George Singleton wrote a great short story in which a minor Flannery O'Connor character spends his time watching MATCH GAME on the Game Show Network. Given his novel's references to Sartre, I feel safe in saying that cable TV functions in a NO EXIT capacity for the purposes of Singleton's story - and who knows, maybe in real life! But I like TV.

Dr. "M.'s" TV Korner: Special Emmy Edition With Extra Vitriol

WARNING: The following "post" contains a dangerous concentration of vitriol and bile! You know that's not the way we usually roll at the "blog," but we are so grateful to have another episode of Dr. "M.'s" TV Korner that we're going to let the doc get it all off her chest and try to censor with a light touch if we can. SECONDARY WARNING: For those with a tendency toward eye strain, please note that we have not yet mastered paragraph breaks, though we are still trying, sort of, not really. And now, we turn it over to Dr. "M.," who writes: "First off, I must recommend HEROES to you and Theresa. [The Farmer] and I have been watching season 1 in prep for season 2, which will feature a guest arc from...wait for it...our girl, Kristen Bell. Did you see her [on Emmy] night? What a lovely lady she is. Hubba hubba I would even say if I was into objectifying women. [Please note, this is still Dr. "M." writing, and she is a woman so maybe it is okay for her to dance around such tendencies - ed.] In any case, HEROES is nicely satisfying my craving for LOST-like suspense and intrigue. Here goes...Are you sure you are ready? The Emmys were a sore disappointment except for the final award and the moment when Steve Carrell ran on stage to accept Ricky Gervais' award. I mean, Sally Field over Edie Falco? Are you kidding me? And James Spader over James Gandolfini? Egregious, blasphemy, etc. [More rage has been deleted here, but on the same subjects - ed.] I didn't like the stage set-up; I didn't like Ryan Seacrest and his incessant clapping together of the hands; I didn't like Katherine Heigel saying she had worked her a** off. Honey, until you are Robert Duvall's age and still acting and winning awards, you don't get to say that. I DID like Locke's (Terry O'Quinn's) pink shirt and sparkly tie. A bold but effective choice. I never liked Everybody Loves Raymond, and both Ray Romano and Brad Garrett reminded me of why. [Here we differ with Dr. "M.," though at the "blog" we have always marveled at - and sort of felt awful about - the horrific portrayal of inner-family damage, abuse, and neglect on RAYMOND, which is really of Eugene O'Neill proportions, though we still think Romano and Garrett are talented and funny - ed.] I love 30 Rock and am so glad it got the recognition it deserves. I love Ricky Gervais and EXTRAS and am so glad he got the recognition he deserves. I think America Ferrera is a class act. * **** Sally Field ** *** ********--have you ******* ****** ************, Sally? If you forget what you memorized, then just make something else up. Sheesh." Here Dr. "M.'s" ruminations come to an abrupt end. (Two final notes: We agree with those asterisks, Dr. "M."! Also, this is the second time we have run across the word "sheesh" in the past couple of days. That's funny! It's a word you don't see in print that often, or hear out loud, either, for that matter. The other sheesh was in THE BRAINDEAD MEGAPHONE by occasional "blog" contact and reluctant - indeed unaware - "blog" guru George Saunders. No, I have not given up on THE DEATH AND LIFE OF GREAT AMERICAN CITIES already! I am not daunted! I am no pushover! Besides, the author, Jane Jacobs, manages to be breezy and authoritative at the same time somehow. But these sparkling Saunders essays - can't I think of a better word than sparkling? Well, not right now, but I know there is one and I guess that counts for something - make for a refreshing break. Though "break" implies an ephemeral quality, while the essays are many-faceted and built to last. If you want to know how to write a short story, you can hardly do better than read Saunders's appreciation and analysis of "The School" by Donald Barthleme. It's too late for me - I'm hopelessly lost and corrupted as a "writer" - but maybe you will get some good out of it! In fact I know you will!)

Sorry, McNeil

This one's for McNeil, though I hope he doesn't find out from me. The man who spotted the Mel Shavelson obit and grasped its significance is nobody's slouch, so he probably already knows. But here it is: Brett Somers, the wife of Jack Klugman and a reliable game show fixture of our callow youth, has passed away. When I was a kid, watching her smoke her cigarettes and make her witty cracks, she reminded me of one of my grandmothers - the smoking, remark-making one. Back then everybody had two grandmothers - one who smoked and made statements and one who didn't. I'm not sure when grieving the passing of MATCH GAME cast members became the primary purpose of the "blog," but I believe she was in a "clip" McNeil "posted" here recently (see the Klugman "link," above), and it would be churlish not to give her some appreciation and express our condolences.

Advice For Youthful Writers

Hey, you know how I've mentioned from time to time that music might be better than writing? Well, tonight Theresa and I were at Tom Franklin's house watching Robert Altman's MCCABE & MRS. MILLER (note the ampersand!) and I said, "Sometimes I think movies might be better than writing." And Tom agreed. The scene taking place showed a guy dancing on the black ice of the town's mud road. Tom had said, just prior to my comment, "That's something you could never imagine," which spurred my reply. So all I'm saying, writers, is: until we can write something as good as the scene where the guy dances on the ice, we haven't learned all we might from the movies. Don't forget! We don't get automatic "art" points because our work comes out on acid-free paper. A TV show might be better than a poem! A comic book might be better than a novel! Watch out! This is really a note to myself, despite the adjective in the title (note that I did not say, "the titular adjective"). Well, I did not mention Julie Christie in this "post," but isn't it nicer to have a picture of Julie Christie as Mrs. Miller than some guy dancing on ice in the dark?

Another Good Movie With Cats In It

Hey remembered when I called Kent and his movie star cat was meowing in the background? The reason I was calling him was to say he should watch DAY FOR NIGHT. I think Truffaut's work can be seen in some ways as a predecessor of the kind of movies Kent has been making these days. By a strange coincidence which just now struck me, a wonderful emblematic scene from DAY FOR NIGHT involves a cat who will not do what it is supposed to do on camera (much like Kent's cat - see the first "link" in this "post"). There's a charming denouement (yes, I said charming denouement) that's sort of a takeoff on the old Busby Berkley plot of the understudy who goes on at the last minute and wows everybody.

The Handy Classics Helper

Okay, then, what about this? McNeil called today with a question that I could only answer by consulting my OXFORD CLASSICAL DICTIONARY. This book was a hefty investment, though it's not as big or expensive as the Tim Lucas book on Mario Bava. And see, it's just been sitting on a table doing nothing ever since I got it. So even though Theresa answered the question correctly (yes, the Titans were gods) it was pleasant to crack open the old OXFORD CLASSICAL DICTIONARY and double check. That gave me an idea. Does anyone have any questions about classical times? Then contact me c/o The Amphibious "Blogging" Command Module, Oxford, MS, because I will be glad to look up the answer in the OXFORD CLASSICAL DICTIONARY. I'll be kind of like our dearly beloved bird correspondent, except I'll know about classical things instead of birds. Also, I won't really know them. I'll just look them up in a book. But still. It's something to do.

Time

So I was just thinking, you know, even though we live in the Central Time Zone now, I still think of Eastern Standard Time as the "real" time - which is funny, because I was born and raised in Central Time. Yep.

Caution: McNeil At Work

McNeil has been hard at work again, by which I mean he's been fiddling around on YouTube. Today he hoped to settle an argument we got into about whether or not Paul Lynde was on the sitcom TEMPERATURE'S RISING. That's right: we got into an argument about whether or not Paul Lynde - who maybe you've almost forgotten - was on the sitcom TEMPERATURE'S RISING, which you've never heard of. McNeil submitted this clip as evidence of (and reason for) my "confusion." But I hate to tell McNeil that Paul Lynde joined the cast when the show was revamped and the title was changed to THE NEW TEMPERATURE'S RISING. Hope this puts everyone's mind at ease! McNeil also suggested that I find a good YouTube clip of Sonny Rollins for the "blog." So I did. "Click" on it!

The "Blog" In Its Wisdom

Hey everybody, remember when I said that "blog" hero Sonny Rollins was engaging us in a 50-year conversation or brilliant words to that effect? An account in today's New York Times proves me right - me and the million other people who have probably said the same thing only better. Someone at the Library of Congress has kindly dug out some rare (never released) tapes of Mr. Rollins playing at Carnegie Hall 50 years ago. Soon he will return to Carnegie Hall and play the same set, then both incarnations will be released on a single CD. Get in line, people! Mr. Rollins provides great clues for living.

Cat

So I was on the telephone with Kent Osborne the other night and I heard a cat meowing in the background. "I didn't know you had a cat," I said. Kent explained that yes, he had a cat, and told the story of how he acquired it. "It sure is meowing a lot," I said. "I know," Kent said. "I keep trying to make a movie of her meowing but she won't do it on camera." Well, folks, as this "link" will show, Kent was not kidding. As an extra bonus, I would like to tell you that Kent's cat is almost IDENTICAL to one of our cats - strangely, the similarity appears in the little video, but not in the still photo accompanying this "post." Oh yeah! See? Now THIS is what I call "blogging." This feels like great "blogging" to me! I'm back!

You Don't Care

Having completed Singleton's sprawling WORK SHIRTS, which earned its twisty references to The Three Stooges, Flann O'Brien's AT SWIM TWO BIRDS, and BEING AND NOTHINGNESS, I turn my bloodshot eyes to THE DEATH AND LIFE OF GREAT AMERICAN CITIES by Jane Jacobs. Somehow I was put in the mood for a thick, chunky book with lots of big ideas. So far it seems fiery! And that's just the introduction. Meanwhile, Tom Franklin can't find enough nice things to say about AN ARSONIST'S GUIDE TO WRITERS' HOMES IN NEW ENGLAND by Brock Clarke. He's racing through it and enjoying every moment. This has been one in a series of slabs of meaningless filler - no reflection on the high quality of the books mentioned.

McNeil's Movie Korner: The Shirley Jones Adjustment

"Bees can be domesticated," McNeil called to say, trying in vain to bolster his argument in a previous "post." He also wished to confirm for the record that he had mistaken Edie Adams (pictured) for Shirley Jones in the previous edition of McNeil's Movie Korner. McNeil once sat through an entire movie thinking Patrick O'Neal was Peter Lawford. By utter coincidence, we have done the same thing before, back in the old Pendarvis Building. But that doesn't make it right. Does any of this matter? I have a notion, and that notion is no. But look. What do you want from me?

Titular Out

We have used the word titular here and here and here and here and here. That's plenty. One of the titulars even contains a "link" to one of the other titulars! Titular now joins other sad words and phrases in exile from the "blog."

McNeil's Movie Korner?

This latest edition of McNeil's Movie Korner comes equipped with a titular question mark, as the more astute of you will observe. We cannot be entirely sure it comes from McNeil, though all physical evidence points in that direction. Still, judge for yourself: "Watching a few minutes of UNDER THE YUM YUM TREE before I go to work...something I always do. It helps psych me up for unloading trucks. Anyway, I noticed that Hilary Clinton and Shirley Jones look an awful lot alike." You can see the problems! 1) We are pretty sure that Shirley Jones is not in UNDER THE YUM YUM TREE - a mistake the real McNeil would never make. Is he thinking, perhaps, of Dean Jones? This produces even more problems and concerns. 2) Hilary Clinton and Shirley Jones look nothing alike! But we are indebted to McNeil for lighting a fire under the recently lethargic "blog." Perhaps that was his generous intent all along.

McNeil's Theory

The problem with the "blog," contends McNeil, is that I don't live in an apartment anymore. "You don't have any upstairs neighbors with dogs to 'blog' about," McNeil observed in a recent phone conversation. "Yeah, but the other day a lizard got into the house," I replied. "Now I 'blog' about wildlife, like yellow jackets." McNeil claimed that yellow jackets did not count as wildlife. "Well, they're not domesticated," I said. "They don't perform useful chores for man." McNeil was still not convinced. "Huh. Are yellow jackets wildlife? Hey, maybe you could 'blog' about that," he said.

There's This

Well, in fact I did get a pleasant email from someone inviting me to be in an anthology alongside several people I have mentioned on the "blog": Lynda Barry (pictured), Brock Clarke (author of AN ARSONIST'S GUIDE TO WRITERS' HOMES IN NEW ENGLAND), Hollis Gillespie, Maud Newton, and Amanda Stern. Very nice company! Also on the list, a lot of other people I've heard of but have never mentioned on the "blog" because I'm only one man and can't spend all my time mentioning everybody on earth although I know it seems at times as if I certainly can and have every intention of doing so and never doing anything else. Speaking of which, the only trouble with being in the anthology is that it would require me to actually write something. Well, I'll let you know how THAT turns out.

How the "Blog" "Works"

People send me emails. I cut-and-paste the emails into the "blog." No emails = no "blog." Is this a fair system? Am I pulling my share of the load? A resounding no to both questions. But it's the only system we've got, people. What's that thing some olden dude said about democracy? Something witty. I don't have the energy to look it up.

Pitiful

Last night I thought up a pretty good "tip" to help you get even more enjoyment out of Bunuel's SIMON OF THE DESERT. But this morning I realized that much of my startled enjoyment of the film came from NOT knowing that particular tip in advance. As I was either going to sleep or waking up I had another brilliant idea - for a lengthy "post" discussing the acting techniques of Bing Crosby and Peter Lorre as unheralded predecessors of Brando's stylized naturalism. But now I am fully awake and see the problems with such a "post." First of all, it would be 100,000 words long! Secondly, no one would care. Thirdly, it might be insane. But I don't think so. Speaking of Peter Lorre, it turns out that his movie THE MASK OF DIMITRIOS is filled with cigarette holders as far as the eye can see. But we don't talk about that anymore on the "blog." What I am trying to tell you: the "blog" is out of "ideas."

What I Have

"Blogger's" block

Mysterious Powers of the "Blog"

You know about the mysterious quality of the "blog," namely how a thing or idea, once "blogged" about, will shortly thereafter manifest itself on the physical plane. I don't think there's any denying it! I mean, look. We "blogged" about the green anole lizard the other day. Well, yesterday we ended up chasing one through the house! We hoped to catch it and put it outside but it was fast. One of the cats was particularly interested in its whereabouts, which at the present time remain unknown. When Theresa shook it off the curtain it fell on the carpet and turned a mustard yellow. Then as it dashed away, Theresa observed an electric blue streak down its back - the same color, we assume, as the Czech absinthe that Phil Oppenheim has been known to guzzle. More on the lizard as details come in.

Hoover Time

Ha ha! Sing the title of this "post" to the tune of "Hammer Time" and you'll have a blast the old-fashioned way, using only the powers of your imagination. So, did you know that Herbert Hoover liked to go outside and walk around and look at stuff? You did if you watched last night's live in-depth tour of the Hoover Presidential Library on C-Span! I called Mr. Ward to tell him it was on and he sounded unimpressed! I was kind of dismayed. I said, "You can call in live with a question!" And he said, "Oh. Uh-huh."

Barry B.'s Bookmobile

Here's an email from Barry B. "Hey Y'all, My book on Mario Bava by Tim Lucas just arrived. I'm not opening it til tonight. I'm pretty excited. It weighs 12 pounds..." (Ellipses his, indicating sublime anticipation.) Now why should there be a twelve-pound book about Mario Bava? Check out Tim Lucas's "web" site for all the answers. The press release gives a pretty fascinating account of a book that was 32 YEARS IN THE MAKING! The words of Douglas Sirk bear repeating, we think. This reminds Theresa and me of the New Year's Day we celebrated by watching Bava's PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES with Barry B. over a plate of collard greens, cornbread, and black-eye peas. Happy times!

Daily Raven Reference

Once more, life imitates "blog." McNeil relates the story of a woman rescued by ravens. It's a tip of the hat from McNeil to our bird correspondent. "I'll bet she's all a-twitter," said McNeil, of the story's likely impact on said correspondent. "Get it?"

All Worked Up

I was just reading a new entry about the literary critic James Wood over on the "The Elegant Variation." For some reason, that always gets me worked up! My mind drifts back to the cherubic "public intellectual" (not James Wood) I saw on C-Span 2, and how sad and depressed he was because he couldn't "tap his toes" to John Coltrane or Sonny Rollins. Hey, you know, John Coltrane doesn't care, buddy! John Coltrane is all like, "zzeeiwheeidiipppidoooo" on his saxophone and there's no answer for that! Oh, I'm getting all worked up thinking about it. So anyway, reading about James Wood today gave me an idea for a New Yorker style cartoon. See, there's a fireman running out of a burning building holding a baby he has saved, and there's a guy in a business suit standing on the sidewalk with his hands cupped around his mouth yelling, "YOU'RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT!" Somebody let me know if this idea has already been taken. It seems kind of obvious, like everything else.